Marry Well

The Importance of Conflict

On April 15, Boundless posted an article by sisters Elisabeth and Kate Adams, titled “How to Fight Well.” As the oldest of eight children, the Adams know what they are talking about when it comes to conflict. Check out this excerpt:

The Bible says “Blessed are the peacemakers,” not the conflict-avoiders. In both Greek and Hebrew, peace is much more than the absence of conflict. It’s security, well-being, wholeness — having all the essential parts joined together and in harmony.

God compares Christian community to a living, breathing human body, and His guiding principle for conflict with other believers is the fact that we are already one. This body is meant to grow and show the maturity and love of Jesus. In a body, growth is a group project, not a solo endeavor. At best, a missing brother stunts the body’s growth; at worst, it means an amputation. So we fight for unity.

This is exactly what Kate and I have done. It’s hard to express the incredible feeling of safety in a relationship that has weathered disagreements and confrontation. We’ve found that conflict can be the doorway into deeper relationship — to knowing one another better and trusting one another more. Though the process may be painful, we have a lot of hope. We know God created this relationship, and with Him, it’s only going to get better.

In the meantime, we’ve learned that fighting in a godly way creates space for the next conflict to be successful. How do we do conflict well? Ultimately by recognizing that the issues in our hearts must be addressed; therefore, it’s not a question of whose fault the conflict is, but how we will respond to God’s work in our lives.

Visit Boundless to read the rest.

How has God used conflict in your life?