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Living in an understanding way

Apr 22, 2017 | 2 Comments

by Steve Watters

When the Apostle Peter addresses marriage (in 1 Peter 3:7), he tells husbands to live with their wives “in an understanding way.” That means husbands are to get to know the unique woman they have married and then live with her based on understanding who they are. It means husbands have to be students of their wives–to know their likes and dislikes, to find out what is on their heart and to then respond appropriately.

How can men in dating relationships begin to prepare now to live in an understanding way with a wife? One simple thing they can do is move beyond generic gestures of attraction and affection. Let me explain. Most men know that women tend to appreciate things like flowers, cards, dinners, chocolate, etc., but every woman is different. It takes effort to understand the distinctions from one woman to another. And it takes some skill, too. A man can’t just come out and ask, “Okay, what do you like? Please check all the items on this list that you appreciate and add details where possible.” Instead, it’s a matter of being watchful, of paying attention in conversations.

This may come across as if women are hard to please, but what it’s mainly about is learning to treat another person as distinctive. It may help to think of it in reverse. Think about how you would feel if the person you were dating said, “You’re not going to believe this, I just got us tickets to the Justin Bieber concert this weekend. This is going to be great.” Now, if you happened to be one of those rare guys who likes Justin Bieber, then you might be thrilled, but if you had been sending fairly clear signals about your musical tastes, you’d be more likely to say, “Huh, you just don’t know me–you’re not trying to understand me.” And that’s how woman often feel.

This article was originally published by Marry Well on April 4, 2011.

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