by Motte Brown
As we’ve discussed here, joining a church can help you on your path to getting married. But sometimes it’s hard just getting plugged in if you’ve just started attending a church.
So, here are eight surefire ways to get plugged-in at a new church.
1. Say “I’m visiting” or “I’m new here” during the meet and greet
Everybody at church is too embarrassed to ask you if you’re visiting or new. They’re afraid you’ve been a member for five years and they don’t want to look selfish for not having taken more time to get to know other members. So it’s up to you to tell them you’re visiting or new. Maybe you’ll get a free lunch out of it.
2. Attend evening worship services
Evening worship services are generally a more intimate gathering of members than morning services. Which means you’ll probably stand out in the crowd, in a good way. Same advice applies here as saying “I’m visiting” or “I’m new” but you probably won’t have to at the evening service because members are more likely to say hello first.
3. Attend all picnics, BBQs, and potlucks
Those types of gatherings after church tend to loosen people up. Which means they’re more likely to talk to you. And it’s a free meal. Which is a big deal for singles.
4. Men invite married men to movies
Married men love being invited to movies. I’m sure this works with single guys too, but married men rarely have the opportunity to see some Leonardo DiCaprio flick about an island off the coast of Boston for the criminally insane. Our wives just won’t go for it. So we’ll go with just about anyone who asks.
5. Women invite married women to Panera
I don’t believe my wife has ever turned down an invitation to go to Panera. I believe her only qualification is that it stays open past 10PM. I guess that’s when the conversation really gets going. Again, this will work with single ladies too, but the reason married women will go 100% of the time is because their husbands hate Panera. The coffee is weak and there’s just not enough meat on the menu.
6. Be the one to follow-up
I’ll be honest with you, married people are great with invites but horrible about following through. We’re just too distracted by family to actually schedule the coffee, lunch or movie with you. With singles, commitment is the issue. They want to leave their options open so you may have to bird-dog it if you want the get-together to actually happen.
7. Introduce yourself to a pastor or ministry leader
You can pretty much invite yourself over to a pastor’s house or out to lunch with one of them at any time. Why? Because it’s their job to get to know you. As a matter of fact, they are the one group of church goers you can take advantage of and feel okay about it. Why? Again, it’s their job.
8. Show up at the singles gatherings
You don’t need an invitation. Just start going and introducing yourself. I guarantee you someone there will take you under their wing and make you their personal project.
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