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Process Trumps Approach

Aug 21, 2014 | 6 Comments

Last week we talked a little about Thomas Umstaddt Jr.’s assertion that traditional dating is better than modern courtship. Debra K. Fileta of True Love Dates weighed in on the topic, suggesting that the process is more important than the approach we take to relationships:

Part of the reason I don’t write or focus on “criticizing courtship”, is because I think healthy relationships are less about the approach we take, and more about the process that we engage in from first meeting to marriage. As a professional counselor, I don’t think that giving up dating or giving up courtship is the answer to the horrifying divorce rate. I don’t even think it’s an “either/or” subject where you have to choose one and reject the other. Again, it’s not about the approach, it’s about the process. Beyond those things, I think the answer is going into relationships as healthy individuals, with healthy perspectives, and healthy expectations. It’s about dealing with your past, understanding your present, envisioning your future, and knowing what kind of person fits into your story. It’s about becoming healthy from the inside-out.

Read the rest of Fileta’s post here.

Do you agree that it’s a healthy process that makes the difference? Or do you think some approaches to dating really are better than others?

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