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Online Dating Burn Out

Mar 2, 2015 | No Comments

by Motte Brown

Online dating is tough. It seems like you spend a lot of time building an engaging profile and sifting through potential matches only to risk rejection by people you know just from a picture and a paragraph (not to mention the associated costs).

So, it’s not surprising to see an article every so often decrying the pitfalls of dating services and calling for more face to face meet ups. This one from the Wall Street Journal takes a profoundly “just do something” approach to meeting people in your own community.

From “Scary New Dating Site: the Real World,”

“Online dating is a lot of time for very little return,” says Jeff Koleba, 31, a Manhattan consumer-brand manager. At one point, he had active profiles on five dating sites. He says he found it draining to come home each night and study profiles, draft clever emails to the women he was attracted to—and then often receive no response. He recently quit online dating.

Now, Mr. Koleba tries to meet women when he is out and about—taking improvisational comedy classes, playing on a co-ed intramural soccer team, exercising with a runners group. “It’s easy to talk, because we already share a common interest,” he says. “So at least you’ll usually get a decent conversation, even if it winds up going nowhere dating-wise.”

Comedy classes, co-ed soccer, and running groups are just a few suggested ways to meet your spouse. Other tips range from traveling in business class to moving to a new neighborhood to buying a cute puppy and going for a walk.

I like the thinking here. After all, a spouse isn’t going to just fall in your lap; you need to put yourself in position to meet someone. The problem for Christian singles is that most of these “someones” probably don’t know the Lord. Non-believers have all of kinds of opportunities to meet a cute Jane, Dick or Harry in just about any setting. Christians? Not so much. They are limited to church and mission trips. (Not really, but you get the point.)

And for Christians, there’s even some danger involved in casting a wider net. Maintaining a busy schedule of activities that include non-believers could tempt you to compromise your convictions. That cute guy or girl you see each morning in your rowing club might be very persistent in their flirting.

That’s why sites like Marry Well are still a good option for many Christian singles. Here you’ll not only find other believers but even like-minded believers.

Don’t get me wrong, I still encourage you to be busy in your own community too. It’s just that the chances of finding someone with whom you are spiritually compatible at your improvisational comedy class aren’t that good.

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